A Letter to My Past Self

Hey there past Allegra,

So I’m sitting on the subway going home as I write this to you. It’s May 2nd, 2014. What a perfect date seeing as exactly six months ago, on this same trip home you thought your life was over. December 2nd 2013. What a day. 5 months ago today is when you found out you didn’t get the College Match scholarship. 5 months later and I’m still a little sore about it, but Allegra, you have no idea what is in store for you. Your life is so far from over. You are on the road to ending first semester with a 97% average, building a beautiful relationship with someone you love, having a wonderful senior year, and most importantly, getting a near full ride to your dream school (sorry to ruin the surprise…not really :)). Looking back on that soul-crushing day, I want to emphasize that your feelings are valid. It’s okay to cry and eat junk food and wonder if you had just one more extracurricular, would you have been Matched? That is perfectly okay. What is not okay is to dwell on it and let yourself sink into a depression. You are just as smart and worthy and strong as you were before December 2nd 2013. I cannot emphasize that enough. Not being matched reflects nothing on your character or capability. You knew going in the chances were slim and it just didn’t work out for the College Match, but it does work out in the end. I am from the future so I get to say that. I am so proud of you for continuing your hard work despite this huge disappointment. I am proud you asked for help from your mom and let her help you. I am proud your work brought us to this moment. You didn’t give up, and for that I am thankful.

I know you’re scared and panicked right now. I kinda wish you wouldn’t apply to so many schools in this state of panic, because all those supplements are going to be rough, but you’re going to.

The road to May 2nd, 2014 isn’t going to be easy. You’re going to keep being disappointed, which will result in more ice cream eating (tip: you’re mildly lactose intolerant so you may want to lay off the Ben and Jerry’s a tad). But you will get through it. You’ll be fifteen pounds heavier, which we will be struggling to work off, but you are going to college. You have a future. Now it’s time to leave the pity party. We have work to do. 🙂

Xo Future Allegra

by Quest Blogger Allegra Kogan